Colors

For a long time, I see the world as black and white.

With moments of happiness, just moments where I smile and then the weight of whats happening around me would crash in front of my eyes. Then you came along and I started to see the blue. How blue I’ve been, that even though I don’t know it, I’ve been feeling it.

You have been smiling at me for a while then, but one night, while we were talking, you smiled at and I saw yellow, one of the brightest. Or was it? I didn’t care, I don’t care. It’s the first yellow I’ve seen and to me, it is the best, and it is the brightest.

Shortly afterwards, I saw pink, I don’t remember what happened before I saw it, I just did. It was when I start to have different feelings for you and I saw grey and remembered everything that has happened to me before. I took a step back, we didn’t talk for a while and my world was monochromatic again.

You started to talk to me again, pushed yourself in and slowly, slowly the pink became brighter, your smiles, they’re a brighter yellow now and I can see the brown in your eyes better. Slowly, the colors are becoming brighter, more beautiful.

When I move my eyes away from you I can see the green trees, I look up in the sky and I can see the blue, somehow different than what I could see before, somehow, this blue calms me. I look back at you and I see your goofy smile, you’re looking at me as I watch the world and I know, your eyes are only for me. The yellow is blinding me, but I almost didn’t care.

We fought for the first time, well, it wasn’t the first time, just one of the worse ones. I was so mad, I can see the red now, but then you hugged me. I sighed, and the red became pink again, a little bit darker than the pink before. Almost red, but not quite, a different shade than the red when I got mad. This, for some reason is a red that makes me feel happy, but also… really uneasy.

For a long time, it has been like this, a play in colors.

Red for mad. Another happier red that makes me warm. Grey is scared. Yellow is your smile. Blue is sad. Brown is your eyes.

Only the shades changes, the happier red is starting to slowly, slowly become brighter. The mad red, I guess, that’s always gonna be there, constantly. The blue is becoming paler and paler every time you touch me, you hug me. The yellow, brighter and brighter.

But then, you got tired of me and suddenly you’re gone, and you took all of the colors away except the black. Suddenly, I’m blind.

When before there was black and white, now that’s gone too.

I walked around trying to move forward, but everything is dark, darker that it ever was.

And then one day, I felt your hand in mine.

Suddenly, I can see again, a flash and the colors are brighter than ever.

So bright that I took a step back.

I realize, slow that I am when it comes to this, the colors come with you, that yes, I can live my life, really, without the colors. But with all these colors, its better, no, not better. Its the best

Instagram and Twitter: @kahyehm

Instagram (calligraphy and writing): @kahyehm

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