A slave to writing

As bloggers or writers, whomever is reading this, we all know the feeling, the feeling of release from the all that’s within you when you write. “Its therapy.” they’ll say, its true, you feel it is that’s why you believe it is so.

But have you ever felt… imprisoned with writing?

Thinking you have to write beautifully and replicate the first thing you write when you were feeling similarly?

Now, I feel sad and angry but I don’t know if what I’m writing right now is actually worth something, something better than the things I wrote on paper the first time I felt this way and wrote about it. Will it make me feel better, like it did before?

I was sitting here, with my hand on top of the keyboard for a few minutes before I started writing, how i felt chained, chained to do this thing and to edge myself to feel better, even though I might not be ready yet.

Do you feel the pressure?

Yesterday, I was feeling the love and yes, I wrote beautifully but at first it really felt like I was forcing things.

I thought, why cant I write beautifully of my love for you? Is my love not enough that I don’t have the words that overflow like before?

And yes, I did write, and they told me it was beautiful, in fact you might read it in the next couple of days here after I type it.

But I cant help but hear that voice, that if I don’t do it well… my love or my feelings… they’re not as valid because they’re not as strong.

Because… Because they don’t overflow.

and in that moment, I felt imprisoned, a slave to writing

Instagram and Twitter: @kahyehm

Instagram (calligraphy and literature): @wetinkonpaper