4 hrs before my plating exams

i dont know what this is, if you wanna make a meaning out of this, this a raw post of what im thinking about right now, 4 hrs before a plating that i studied for but not as hard as i can…

it started 2 days ago, the Baccalaureate Mass for the graduating class of 2016, college of medicine, my supposed batch i started to feel heavy, i stopped going to the gym, i turned off my facebook, opening only to post for the campaign or for family… and i barely studied, yes, im trying… but not enough…

i thought ive accepted the fact that id be late to graduate and be an MD, but seeing that, and then the Graduation the next day, its pretty hard to make myself stand up in the morning

im thinking, whats up with me? am i in the right place that it takes all of me to stand up in the morning much less read my books… i dont know, bt im still trying to push through, im scared because its the finals… and i dont want to fail again, but i now lack the motivation to push enough like what ive been doing before…

i dont know, i just had to let this all out, im sorry if this is such a sad post…

i wanna do this for my family, especially my dad who’s doing anything he can to push me though med school… its them that makes me stand up in the morning. whew… this is dramatic… wow… this is not a happy rant…

i just thought that… im awake but im not productive and i dont like to be that person. i want to be doing something right without pushing myself, i want to love what im doing again. but rn, im tired.

i just pray that i come back SOONEST.

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