Christmas

So many things has happened this year, I found out some things about myself that I wish I never got to know but somehow towards the end of the year I also found out how strong I am, and how I still love myself no matter how wrong the things I did…

And for that I am thankful.

At first I thought I’m just not forgiving since an old friend of mine whom I drifted away from this year texted me on my old number, I find myself not wanting to reply but still thinking about it, until this very moment,  it’s really funny that I now realize that I love myself more than I knew,  to preserve myself and to not be very forgiving especially when nobody is ever going to say sorry to me.  I just got to tired, I’ve also learn to accept the apology that I never got but that doesn’t mean that I will forget what happened because I believe in the saying “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” right?  Anyway this is a bad post coming from Christmas but believe or not im happy,  happier than I’ve been this year,  even last Christmas 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Christmas

  1. monochromejunkie says:

    I don’t think it’s a bad post at all; I think it’s insightful, helpful, truthful, and I appreciate you sharing it. So glad you’re in a good place despite having been slighted by others and most of all, being at peace with having never received the long-awaited apologies. That’s terrific. :0) I’m hoping to make it there soon too. (Working on it.) Hope you have a great New Year too. :0) xo

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    • kahyehm says:

      Thank you, I appreciate that you find it helpful, I’m a very lucky girl, at first I got confused on how people are saying this or that to me, that other people are talking shit behind my back only to have the other people say the same about the former. I guess the key is to try to be the best that you can be and stop wasting the world’s time on how people are not good to you, they already did the wasting and that’s enough, I’m lucky that I have people telling me that, and It took a shorter time to get there because I didn’t have to figure it out, I just need to learn to act it out and be positive, I hope you do too

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      • monochromejunkie says:

        Yeah, it’s a process, you know? Even when we become completely aware that we’re never going to get results we’re looking for, we can still say, “You know what? I can choose peace for myself. I can be happy because I can choose what food I want to eat, what shampoo I want to use, and I can absolutely choose what I will and will not allow others to make me feel.

        And we free ourselves!

        I know I have my work cut out for me (nothing new, right?) but I can feel, every day, that I’m closer to the PEACE that I want to feel. I’ll tell you something, this may seem really goofy, but I practice this semi-regularly. When you’re by yourself, smile. I know- it’s like, “Huh?” But I mean, intentionally be consciously aware that you are sitting here or standing there completely alone and make yourself smile. Peeling potatoes, writing a list- doesn’t matter. What I’ve discovered is that our hearts, minds, and spirits will start to believe what our brains are telling our bodies to do. I started telling my mouth to smile. My heart was like, “Pershah! I’m not falling for it! I know better.” But I ignored my heart and forced the smile anyway. I began to do this more and more as the weeks and months passed on- eventually, my heart said, “Can I play too?”

        It’s incredibly powerful and helps so much to chase away the negativity and doubt.

        Have a greet day and hope your upcoming year is a GREAT one. xo

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