jumbled thoughts at 4 am


so, i dont know what im feeling right now…

but let me tell you something, ive never wanted more in my life… but im also never been too scared…

its like, every move is suffocating me… like, every move might be wrong, but ive got to do it anyway if im gonna keep this charade… its not going thru life day by day for me its like… going thru it minute by minute, decision by decision, circumstance by circumstance…

you know sometimes, i wish i would be simple minded, theres too much thoughts in my head, always, that maybe why m having these head splitting headaches sometimes, my heads too full of worries, knowledge, and whatever makes a heads pop…

i know its a long shot but i hope everything comes together before the end of the vacation i just cant get distracted like this when i go to school… 😦

i mean, im not exactly sad… im just too full of worries…

which btw is an improvement for me…

ive been numb, angry, sad and angry and sad…

so worried sounds fine for me…


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2 thoughts on “jumbled thoughts at 4 am

  1. monochromejunkie says:

    I love and applaud your honesty here. These are my favourite kinds of posts-ever, and I’ll tell you why. You’re sharing a very deep part of yourself with the world- and that’s not easy! Think about all of the Kim Kardashians or Madonnas of the world- all of the fame-alicious people who have millions of adoring fans (blah blah blah) and look what they give back: superficial, trivial, fako-smiles and autographs. Not much to look forward to.

    What you’re offering is a REAL piece of your heat. You’re not even asking for anything in return. That’s awesome. :0)

    You never know who you’re going to reach: Who might be reading this with a gun barrel in their mouth -so sick and tired of this world and all of the K. Kardashians and Madonna’s and fako-smiles and autographs. You never know who you’re going to touch and change with such honesty, and such honesty is so refreshing.

    Thanks for that. And thanks for touching ME today.


    • kahyehm says:

      oh! im so glad that i touched you! wow… thanks for reading too :))

      i think, they were real at first but then they got so into the attention that they forgot what’s real is better 🙂

      thanks again, im touched…


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